What the Fuck is Happening With Tucker Carlson?

I don’t care about Tucker Carlson. He’s a prick that says prick-y things. Who cares. But this narrative he’s frantically pushing about the NSA spying on him, is over the top, even for Tucker. And the guy literally looks scared. For reals and true. Look at this Maria Bartiromo video clip in this Mediaite article from earlier this morning. Dude is scared. Also, what the fuck happened to Maria? She enunciates like Judge Jeannine now. Remember when she used to be the hot business chick on CNBC?

What we do know is: Tucker is the writer, director, and actor in this entire narrative. He is the creator. All we can do is measure Tucker’s story to itself. As it stands, there is no one we can condemn, and no actions to demand, because this is completely nothing. To Tucker, it’s really super-duper important, but it’s nothing. Nothing until outside forces enter the scene. It’s only a story right now and that’s totally fine.

Let’s examine his story’s narrative.

He says he was at a funeral in DC last week, and accidently ran into someone who said, “I have a message for you,” and then “the person” repeated back to him details from Carlson’s emails and texts. Also, the NSA has this information “…and that was proven by the person repeating back the details of the texts and emails.” So the person saying it, proves the NSA has the information? So the “person” works for the NSA, or someone in the DoD? That’s kinda what he’s implying, isn’t it. Could be true or not, but he is certainly implying it.

Carlson then says he learned yesterday, that the NSA has leaked this information to other journalists (plural), and the information will come out soon. Carlson got a call from a journalist whom he knows and likes, who said as much. So that’s not the person who is going to be leaking it. We now have three to four or even more different people aware of the story.

This is starting to sound pretty sloppy for the NSA isn’t it? Like the NSA is shopping this story all over the place? Nah, come on Tucker.

Tucker says, the reason the NSA is leaking this, apparently all over the place, is because they want to discredit him. They want to threaten opposition journalists. Meh.

He says the NSA never denied it. Although they had.

Carlson goes on to say he talked to NSA officials (plural), and this was confirmed. He had a “shouting match with NSA officials.” Who used artful terms, that he is not a target of an investigation. This fits nicely with the above NSA rebuttal. He wasn’t targeted, and the NSA does in fact spy on foreign officials. Those aren’t statements in conflict.

So he has had communications with someone about something…and that person was a target of the NSA. In the course of investigating their target, they came across Tucker Carlson communications. Right? This is what Tucker Carlson is really, clearly implying. We can all see that.

Interesting to note, with Maria, Tucker says, that it’s known that the NSA gives information to the Justice Dept., in order for them to charge American citizens with crimes. He doesn’t Blame Biden, he says the NSA is a free operator. So whatever has happened, started during the Trump Admin, right? He both says, it’s a political operation for “opposition journalists” and the Biden Admin isn’t the one directing it, which are two statements in conflict. So if it is in fact the NSA, they or the DOJ didn’t act on it under Trump. Right? He’s very much stuck on the idea that the DOJ is going to use this information.

Is this hinting that he is going to be charged with something, or that something uncomfortable is going to be leaked by other journalists. It’s hard to figure where Tucker is going with this. These two things don’t coexist well. Unless it is going to be leaked *and* he is going to be charged nearly simultaneously. Really, really doubt that.

Tucker is bemoaning the fact that “the press” isn’t protecting him on the behalf of journalism. No one has any fucking idea what the fuck you’re talking about Tucker, how can others protect you from what is not clear, based on the sounds coming out of your mouth? When whatever documents there are come out, maybe then. No clue.

Now tonight’s video of Tucker on his own show:

Again Tucker is blaming everyone else for not protecting him. Now he seems more of the mind to blame the Biden administration, something he didn’t do earlier with Maria.

Sources in the intel community told at least one reporter in Washington about Tucker’s emails. So this is yet another named person(s) who have the information.

  1. Someone he implies is in the NSA or DoD.

2. A journalist friend.

3. Some unknown “journalists” plural.

4. NSA officials he shouted at.

5. A source in the Intel community (and by extension that reporter who might be one of the above or not)

-A lot of people.

Now it’s starting to get interesting. Tucker’s going to tie it up for us and make it a little clearer.

Tucker goes on to describe how he contacted “some people” about an interview with Putin. He lets slips, “Emailing with people who know Putin, are you?” as he mocks what he pretends is the NSA’s position.

He says Putin does evil things, so of course any American journalist who might want to interview Putin would be painted as evil as well, and that’s how the NSA plans on discrediting Tucker Carlson. Because he’s evil enough to talk to an evil man.

This is just incredible bullshit. That he felt the need to contact Putin through special connections other than the vast resources he has at his fingertips at Fox? Special connections, which he admitted are people who personally know Putin.

Interviewing Putin happens to be a big fucking deal that Americans love to see, because it’s rare and we WANT an American journalist asking Putin the tough questions. We know that’s effing true because the NBC interview of Putin, 3 weeks ago, was hyped for days and people were psyched to see it. That wasn’t a mark of shame, it was an effing gold star. So the entire “evil by association is the NSA’s whole plan” is nonsens

Tucker’s chief concern throughout all of this, is the DOJ is going to charge him with something. What is clear to me is that the Putin-interview narrative is not the actual epicenter of this story.

We, as of yet, have no reason to believe anything about the NSA or DOJ, unless these documents are marked, and even then, it’s not a sure thing either of those leaked the documents. If they are clean, Tucker is trying to get out in front of what he fears would be a investigation, by acting like the government was behind it the whole time. This could also be true if they are marked.

UPDATE. My entire understanding was from watching these 2 vids. I have zero information aside from those. Emptywheel on twitter (a great guy for legal stuff) has this whole complex theory that the intermediaries Tucker spoke to, are in custody with prolly the FBI, and this whole thing is a self-leak to run the Putin-interview story as cover up. i don’t get how that all works, but he knows a lot more stuff than me.

Then I went over to a Trumpublican thread and read what they had to say…they pretty much are only worried about Tucker being “unmasked”. Once that word enters the story, it’s game over. Nothing else will matter. Go figure. No intellectual curiosity whatsoever.

Extra updated: After reading some twitter threads today from both sides of the aisle, what has emerged to me is this:

Focusing on “who” leaked the information might be a complete waste of time. For all we know, it may very well be Tucker himself. An important thing to focus on right now, and later, is that Tucker is completely in control of the narrative. It’s all his to do with as he pleases. What pleases him is to highlight “unmasked” because that is an absolute trigger for those on the right. It literally doesn’t matter what happens after this because the magic word has been spoken. No matter what comes out, it will all be a “process crime” of the left, even if there are no crimes. It’s finished. Over.

What is also crystal clear, is this is just a firestorm of utter bullshit. With idiot conspiracy theories all over the place that are based on nothing. No-thing. There is nothing.

Finally, what is clear, is that there shall be a different topic, the actual thing that happened. it isn’t the Putin interview. It’s the other thing that Tucker did, whatever the fuck it is. This entire charade is created to excuse that other thing.

Mueller Finally Comes Down From the Mountain: the biblical version

When the people saw that Mueller was gone from them for so long, they came to Fox News and asked for a God they could worship. And Fox News said, ‘bring me your memes, half-truths, and conspiracies, and I shall fashion a belief system for you.”

And it came to pass, that when Mueller came down from the mountain, he had two volumes of testimony in his hands. In this testimony were ten points known to be moments of obstruction, written for the masses whom were lost or disillusioned.

Honestly, I didn’t think it any soothsaying to foresee how this was going to end up. From Dec. 1 2017:

“When I started this blog my presumption was that ultimately many people around Donald Trump would be charged with various crimes and that Trump would still be standing after the fact.  He would remain… tarnished, damaged and left to Congress to deal with or not; leading to a constitutional crisis.”

The only thing incorrect with my original assumptions long ago, is that I thought that Mueller would make a pronouncement that Donald Trump did in fact appear guilty of a particular crime and that he simply lacked the tools to handle the charges himself. Had Mueller been an independent special counsel, it is likely that would have come to pass. But, because Mueller has been a creature of the DOJ, he did not make any such pronouncement, and rightly so.

It’s actually really funny…it’s very funny when you think about it. Not only has Robert Mueller done everything absolutely perfectly, he has done so in a masterful fashion in legality and in a poetically just fashion.

What I presumed after reading Barr’s odd initial four page outline of the Mueller report is correct. The Mueller report was written for Congress.

“No my friends, this report is meant for one of the committees in the House of Representatives. It needs to arrive in it’s whole state; complete in both style and content. Not only is it meant for the House, it is written in the words of Robert Mueller speaking to the House.”

It’s funny because Mueller has left it to us angry and malformed children of narratives to govern ourselves. He has thrown the ten commandments at us and we shall divide ourselves into separate tribes and require untold years before we submit to the truth.

The Unbelievable Truth

Attorney General Bill Barr implied in his confirmation hearings that he didn’t really need the job. He had already done it. He said, “I feel that I’m in a position in life where I can provide the leadership necessary to protect the independence and reputation of the department.” Whether we take that at face value or not, do you think he is oblivious to the fact, either now or then, that one way or the other, the Mueller report’s core issues will find their way into the hands of Congress? Do you doubt he knows this was always meant to be an issue for Congress to take up?

Bill Barr merely wanted to insert himself into US history and will make decisions based on how many chapters of that history in which his name will be mentioned for good or bad.


Pete Buttigieg will never be the Democratic presidential nominee because his name is ridiculous and also lends itself to dreadful gay jokes. Dude, really…you should have changed that name years ago. That sucks because he’d make a decent president and an excellent administrator.

Kirsten Gillibrand will never be the Democratic presidential nominee because she doesn’t have a single atom of testosterone in her body. Ironically, the woman best known for women’s rights will be subconsciously snubbed by the masses because she cannot orate or debate without sounding like a shrill, hysterical woman because she’s so goddamn feminine.

Tulsi Gabbard will never be the Democratic presidential nominee because she’s fucking evil.

Corey Booker is a guy you just got to feel is going to run himself into some kind of scandal by the time debates come around.

John Hickenlooper is another guy with a ridiculous name. No.

It’s only a matter of days before Donny Trump is alerted to some newly formed “caravan” heading to the border to rape and pillage the land by Fox News. They need it to happen in a bad way, so Fox News will find some group of people to label a “caravan” no matter what.


Have you seen the movie The Unbelievable Truth? It’s a small, quirky, cute movie. Budget was like 75k. Here are some hysterical lines from the movie. Adrienne Shelly is the woman on the right of the above picture. She was adorable in the movie… and she was murdered at her office in NY in 2006 by an illegal alien.

Yes, Donald Trump is a Racist and Islamophobe

Jeanine Pirro, March 9, 2019:

“Think about it. Omar wears a hijab, which according to the Quran 33:59, tells women to cover so they won’t get molested. Is her adherence to this Islamic doctrine indicative of her adherence to Sharia law, which in itself is antithetical to the United States Constitution?”

This is what an Islamophobic statement looks like. Not to be confused with the statement improperly characterized as anti-Semitic that the referenced Congresswoman Omar made. For this, Pirro appears to be in some unstated limbo with Fox News. She was condemned for the statement and has had one Saturday show “disappeared” from Foxs’ schedule. We know no more than that at this time.

One Week later, on Friday, March 15, 2019, 50 people are murder and at least 50 injured by a white supremacist in New Zealand. The murderer mentions Donald Trump as one of his inspirations and refers to Muslim immigrants as an “invasion” to predominately white nations.

In response to the massacre, Trump issues an ill-considered, hallmark card type tweet of “best wishes”.

Also on March 15, In a make-shift press conference for Trump’s vetoing of the bill to halt his money-grab for his anti-immigrant statement in the useless wall, Trump read a short prepared statement of support for New Zealand. He did not mention Islamophobia, hate crimes, or racism. He did not denounce any type of hate. He did immediately mention after the statement, that he had his “angel parents” with him- referring to those whom had a child murdered by an illegal immigrant, and then continued with a prepared speech regarding the Veto. Trump highlighted the incredible danger pouring in through the southern border in the way of drugs, human trafficking, and wanton murder that immigrants represented.

Now I will highlight the ad-lib, larger portion of his statement, that is the real Donald Trump:

Trump said, “People hate the word ‘invasion,’ but that’s what it is. It’s an invasion of drugs and criminals, and people-we have no idea who they are.” Let’s not pretend for a second that Trump didn’t purposefully present this word with special emphasis.

In reference to asylum seekers in country:

“When you release them (asylum seekers), they come into our society, and in many cases they’re stone cold criminals…and in many cases you have killers coming in and murderers coming in and we’re not going to allow that to happen.”

Trump’s rhetoric is describing all immigrants from the southern border. All of them. There is no differentiation between any of the very few that may have illegally crossed and turned out to be a murderer and those that have legally applied for asylum and are in detention awaiting asylum hearings.

“Changing the asylum laws which are so unfair, changing the visa lottery, chain migration. These laws are just horrendous, I won’t explain them, but everybody standing behind me knows exactly what they are. They’re dangerous for our country,” and right back to the southern border, “The border crisis is the drug crisis…” followed by statements about MS13 and more drug stuff and killers yada yada.

Now we’re getting closer to the truth, aren’t we. Aside from Norwegians, exactly who should be allowed to migrate to this country? This administrations migration policies speak for themselves.

Reporter: “Do White Nationalists pose a rising threat around the world?”

Trump: “I don’t really, I think its a small group of people that have serious problems. I guess if you look at what happened in New Zealand, perhaps that’s the case, I don’t know enough about it, they’re just learning about the person and the people involved. but it’s certainly a terrible thing.”

White nationalism isn’t a problem. Trump doesn’t know anything about it; nobody knows anything about it. It’s limited to some outlier events by crazy people. Not a problem. End of story.

Finally, amidst Trump’s bukkake-tweetathon of the last two days:

Trump retweets this because it brings him pleasure:

He shows his solidarity with Tucker’s scumminess/racism and Judge Jeanine’s Islamophobia. Fox shouldn’t bow to being “politically correct,” they should instead “Fight for our country,” by allowing their hosts to present Islamophobic ideas.

Donny retweets this:

It is entirely clear what Donald Trump’s viewpoints are on racism and Islamophobia.

Trump’s history with Islamophobia.

Jexodus: the Jepocalypse Jenarrative

Jexodus! It’s like the Exodus, but this time it has Jews in it.

Jexodus, a group that has been in existence since Democrats failed to denounce a Muslim for her well-documented inferred hate of Jews, will begin it’s official rollout of whatever it is they stand for, in NY and Florida sometime in April.

Elizabeth Pipko, a former model, former Trump campaign staffer and spokesperson for Jexodus, appeared on Fox News to state the historical significance of this newly formed group, “We left Egypt, and now we’re leaving the Democratic party,” and she pointed out the evident, “They (the Democrats) are a party of anti-Semitism.” Pipko went on to state that even though the Democrats have a large representation of Jews among their numbers, the goal is to swing votes, “We know the Jews have overwhelmingly supported Democrats…under President Trump, literally anything is possible.”

It is unclear how someone not in the Democratic party is going to lead the Jexodus from the Democratic party, but one cannot discount the remarkable historical similarities to Moses, the former busty fashion model turned sycophant that went on to lead the chosen people to the promised land.