January 18, 2018

I’m laying here in bed, reading the House Intel Committee Fusion GPS testimony, pretty jazzed about the idea of having two testimonies on the same subject; taken at different times with questions from different people.  It’s possible to learn new, exciting information from comparative analysis.  I like that kind of thing.  I have the TV on and Rachel Maddow is talking about the same testimony and I’m trying not to listen, because I don’t want her to blow my high.  She does…a little.

In here somewhere I’ll read the possible connection between the NRA and Russian interests and possibly, that all ties together with how Russian money was funneled into the Trump campaign….and the knowledge doesn’t even phase me.

We’ve heard how it is an accepted fact that Trump has paid off a porn star for her silence about a long standing extramarital affair and that the National Enquirer bought and quashed a similar playmate story and that Fox news had a story and sat on it…and it all doesn’t really seem to matter.

Trump made a racist remark at a meeting with congresspeople and we all know it, but that didn’t stop two congresspeople and a cabinet member bold-faced lying about it anyway.  Despite the fact that a leading congressperson in Lindsey Graham, is letting us all know Trump said it and he’s letting the liars know that he knows they are lying…but it doesn’t matter.  It doesn’t matter the “President” is a racist and it doesn’t matter that our elected leaders are lying right to our face.

It also doesn’t matter that Trump knows zero about the legislation before Congress or that he continually sabotages their effort with his ignorance (3 times this week!).  That’s all shrugged off and sometimes, sometimes Congresspeople bother to serve up a half baked lie to explain away Trump’s stupidity; sometimes not.  It doesn’t really matter.

We all knew that ultimately DACA and CHIP were going to be used as ultimate pawns.  We knew it…saw it coming, but so what?  So what?  It’s being used just the same and presented to the public in bite size pieces; bumper-sticker catch phrases, that people as stupid as us can understand.  Because what we think doesn’t really matter, at least not until midterms, then we’ll be reminded of what we should remember.  The Pavlov’s dog in us should remember.

Trump had someone shit on a GOP website his little idea about “fake news.”  It was mostly just a mish-mash of items that reporters got wrong somewhere along the way.  Maybe some of it was corrected, maybe some of it was misrepresented.  Could be.  It doesn’t really matter.  It doesn’t matter that was an official GOP website.  GOP doesn’t care.  Who cares? Meh.


Trump hightails it out of town to go to a cult pep-rally.  Because, you know, that’s all he is actually interested in.  The adulation.  That’s important.  Maybe later, when he gets back, maybe he’ll think about that DACA thing.  It never was important, unless…unless it could be used to give his cult a giant slab of bloody meat in the form of a big beautiful wall.  Well, that would matter.  That would be important.  Yeah.  Congress will figure something out about all those niggling details…the details of whatever it is they are doing.

I’m trying to remember what’s important.

What is important is the details of everything we are losing.  You know the scene from “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” Where Jim Carrey watches all of his memories disappearing…that’s where it feels like we are.  We don’t even know the memories we no longer have.  It’s getting quashed.

I guess what I should do is get back to reading these second transcripts.  So that I can preserve another piece here.  Something I can refer to.

The other thing I feel I should do, is examine this feeling I have about the nature of this perpetually upward plateauing insanity.  There’s a pattern here and it has to be an unsustainable one.  By it’s very nature, it has to be.

It really isn’t that everything is becoming unimportant, it’s that we’re being trained to forget what is.  Losing sight a little each day.

The big picture, which we’ve handed down to ourselves and shared as the American experience, was always too big for any one of us to know…but we sensed it in our national community and preserved our own little knowledge which we’ve share in kind with each other.  We’ve opened our gates to many and brought in new knowledge to enfold into our cumulative experience and prospered mightily by that reasonable tenant.  We’ve been industrious and fierce and sometimes really fucking lucky (I’m looking at you G. Washington in New York!), but we’ve never had to be the sole librarian of all of our truths.  We’ve never been forced into self-reliance, but I feel like that’s where we are.

I feel like, in living in Trump’s insanity, what we are losing is our national, societal fabric.  We are rend apart -divided- losing the connective tissue of our shared knowledge as we peel off to the battle that is important, right now.  This battle right here, is my personal line and…and I can’t see you anymore.  I can’t see my neighbor anymore.


Holy hell…I went off…I’m getting back to these transcripts.


One thought on “January 18, 2018

  1. In a way we are the Borg of Star Trek. We are the strong group of many different ethnic groups. Our original motto was “one out of many”. Yes our big picture is being eroded, and the standards we held for political elective office is being degraded at a rate I have never seen. We are being conditioned to accept it. But we can fight back, you are fighting back. Every post seen and every person inspired is another person to take up the cause. The question is to we want to resurrect the old or go past it to enable a new higher brand for the country. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

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