Trashcan

I selected and purchased a new trashcan.  It was larger than the old one.  I measured  it.

Week one.
I put the old trashcan in the new trashcan and filled it with trash.
result: both trashcans lined up by curb.

Week two.
I filled the new trashcan with trash and put the old trashcan on top of the trash.
result: both trashcans lined up by the curb.

Week three.
I filled the new trashcan with trash and taped a sign to the old one, “throw me away.”
result: trash thrown away and sign thrown away.

Week four.
New sign, “this is trash.”
result: no variation from previous week.

Week five.
I hid with the new trashcan behind the garage.  Meanwhile, I placed all of my garbage in a pile in the street with the old trashcan on top.
result: garbage truck stopped for  three seconds, surveyed, then drove on down the street.

Week six.
I bought a ladder.
I collected my neighbor’s trashcans and formed a pyramid, the apex of which was topped with my old trashcan in an inverted position.
result: trash men stood next to trash pyramid, took selfies, collected trash and left.  Old trashcan still present.  Spent most of evening returning trashcans and explaining.

Week seven.
I bought a saw.
Cut trashcan in half.
result: partial success.

Week eight.
I drove the bottom half of my old trashcan to the landfill.  Lady next to me asked if I was going to throw “that tub” away.
 

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