I selected and purchased a new trashcan. It was larger than the old one. I measured it.
I put the old trashcan in the new trashcan and filled it with trash.
result: both trashcans lined up by curb.
I filled the new trashcan with trash and put the old trashcan on top of the trash.
result: both trashcans lined up by the curb.
I filled the new trashcan with trash and taped a sign to the old one, “throw me away.”
result: trash thrown away and sign thrown away.
New sign, “this is trash.”
result: no variation from previous week.
I hid with the new trashcan behind the garage. Meanwhile, I placed all of my garbage in a pile in the street with the old trashcan on top.
result: garbage truck stopped for three seconds, surveyed, then drove on down the street.
I bought a ladder.
I collected my neighbor’s trashcans and formed a pyramid, the apex of which was topped with my old trashcan in an inverted position.
result: trash men stood next to trash pyramid, took selfies, collected trash and left. Old trashcan still present. Spent most of evening returning trashcans and explaining.
I bought a saw.
Cut trashcan in half.
result: partial success.
I drove the bottom half of my old trashcan to the landfill. Lady next to me asked if I was going to throw “that tub” away.